Jude is ready to walk, whether he knows it or not. He is now standing up by himself, grinning, and then falling over after 2 seconds.
Today he walked with a toy that he thought was a 'walker' with support, but it wasn't. The plastic lawn mower fell over after he walked for several feet and tried to put weight on it. He was taking the steps without leaning on it but didn't know it. Its only a matter of time before he's off and running.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
jude is our bones
Jude turned 16 months old today. Kara had a chance to share the story publicly today of what God taught her through the 4 years of infertility it took to get him.
our little guy from June '08
The following are the notes she used to share her story in 2 church services this morning:
Our pastor, Todd asked us at the beginning of this sermon series if “we have bones of Joseph, things we carry that symbolize god’s faithfulness in times of transition.” It comes from Genesis 50 where Joseph insisted the Israelites carry his bones when God delivered them from Egypt. As Greg and I talked about this sermon series, we realized the bones we carry in our life, the symbol of god’s faithfulness, is our son Jude. This morning I want to share our story about trusting God in the 4 years of infertility it took to get him.
In the fall of 2003 Greg and I took the scary step, for us, of deciding to have kids. The same month I began having medical issues that would prevent a pregnancy. Six months later I had surgery to try and fix it, but the problem continued.
Greg and I met our infertility doctor a year and a half after we hoped to be pregnant. Spiritually I would say I was frustrated at god allowing the delay but hopeful we would soon have a child.
We learned our insurance did not cover infertility treatments which limited the treatment options we could afford.
It was a hard year. If you know me well you know I have a low tolerance for pain and hate needles, both of which are involved in the process. As this was going on my friends, co-workers, and I think every celebrity, began having babies. Baby dedications were hard to watch. Mother’s day was a challenge.
After a year of this I saw fresh evidence of God working. At Greg’s company, the administrator had compassion on us and specifically looked for health plans that would cover infertility. I also saw God using my desert experience to connect with others. At work in 2006 I read the headline that Britney Spears was expecting again… I loudly said “what the heck, Britney spears can have a second baby and I can’t have one?” That led a co-worker to quietly share with me that she too was going through infertility and hadn’t shared it at work with anyone.
I tried to remain disciplined, sometimes forcing myself to go spend time reading the bible and praying. I admit I wanted to run away from God because I felt angry that he was allowing this to happen. Sometimes all I could do was get on my knees in the living room and cry. I remember sending Greg upstairs many times so I could have a loud conversation with the lord. Its hard when you feel like God has this plan for you and he’s given you this desire, and you feel led to continue pursuing it, but it’s not happening.
Scripture too was painful to me at times. “Children are a blessing from the lord” but what about when you can’t have them? Is god judging us? It helped to read a book called “A Sacred Sorrow Reaching Out To God in the Lost Language of Lament” by Michael Card. He reminded me that Jesus was perfectly obedient and god’s plan for him involved great suffering, it wasn’t a punishment for something Jesus did.
Card writes “at the precise point when Jesus was most forsaken by god, he was being used the most by god. When he was lamenting god’s perceived absence, something was being accomplished through his life that would save the world. It is often the same for us”
We learned our insurance did not cover infertility treatments which limited the treatment options we could afford.
It was a hard year. If you know me well you know I have a low tolerance for pain and hate needles, both of which are involved in the process. As this was going on my friends, co-workers, and I think every celebrity, began having babies. Baby dedications were hard to watch. Mother’s day was a challenge.
After a year of this I saw fresh evidence of God working. At Greg’s company, the administrator had compassion on us and specifically looked for health plans that would cover infertility. I also saw God using my desert experience to connect with others. At work in 2006 I read the headline that Britney Spears was expecting again… I loudly said “what the heck, Britney spears can have a second baby and I can’t have one?” That led a co-worker to quietly share with me that she too was going through infertility and hadn’t shared it at work with anyone.
I tried to remain disciplined, sometimes forcing myself to go spend time reading the bible and praying. I admit I wanted to run away from God because I felt angry that he was allowing this to happen. Sometimes all I could do was get on my knees in the living room and cry. I remember sending Greg upstairs many times so I could have a loud conversation with the lord. Its hard when you feel like God has this plan for you and he’s given you this desire, and you feel led to continue pursuing it, but it’s not happening.
Scripture too was painful to me at times. “Children are a blessing from the lord” but what about when you can’t have them? Is god judging us? It helped to read a book called “A Sacred Sorrow Reaching Out To God in the Lost Language of Lament” by Michael Card. He reminded me that Jesus was perfectly obedient and god’s plan for him involved great suffering, it wasn’t a punishment for something Jesus did.
Card writes “at the precise point when Jesus was most forsaken by god, he was being used the most by god. When he was lamenting god’s perceived absence, something was being accomplished through his life that would save the world. It is often the same for us”
While I’m not saving the world, I see now that it was in this deep spiritual wrestling and through the tears, that God dug in deeper in my heart. I truly know that I cannot live this life without him, in a way I didn't before.
I’d like to share just a few notes from my journal at that time:
April 24, 2007 “help me to find, stumble to the path you have for me. This life is not the road I would have chosen. But you promise good for me—eternal good.
Mother’s day 2007: “for so long I thought my strength was on the outside, what people saw, how I performed, but you have lovingly, hard, broken me and forced me to grow, seek, rely on the strength you’re building in my character, by your spirit. Oh lord thank you for this journey. And yet if it could end before next year’s mother’s day you know I’d really like that.”
After 3 years of infertility treatments, the doctor said my fallopian tubes may not be open after all. That meant in vitro fertilization. We went through IVF in August 2007, 4 years after our plan to get pregnant. 10 days later I was stunned and overjoyed to learn we were pregnant.
After 3 years of infertility treatments, the doctor said my fallopian tubes may not be open after all. That meant in vitro fertilization. We went through IVF in August 2007, 4 years after our plan to get pregnant. 10 days later I was stunned and overjoyed to learn we were pregnant.
By the next mother’s day in 2008 I was almost due with a child, an answer to the silly prayer I wrote in my journal.
Jude was born in May 27, 2008-16 months ago today. His name Jude means praise. It’s nice to be out of my desert time and to celebrate his life. But I’ll never look at those who are in that place, the same.
Monday, September 21, 2009
baltimore in pictures
Here are pictures Grandma Nancy kindly emailed to us of Jude's visit to her and Grandpa Henry's house. One night kara got to enjoy a night out to catch a movie and browse the outlet stores. While she was gone, several things occurred:
1) Jude learned to play the piano from Grandma Nancy-- which he always knew was in his genes from both sides of the family
2) Jude learned that despite a lot of encouragement, smiles, and hand holding from Cousin Meredith, he is just not ready to let go and walk on his own yet.
walk jude, walk!
Jude had a great time chasing his cousins around and enjoying the smiles of his Grandparents. Thanks for a nice visit!
1) Jude learned to play the piano from Grandma Nancy-- which he always knew was in his genes from both sides of the family
this is fun
2) Jude learned that despite a lot of encouragement, smiles, and hand holding from Cousin Meredith, he is just not ready to let go and walk on his own yet.
walk jude, walk!
Jude had a great time chasing his cousins around and enjoying the smiles of his Grandparents. Thanks for a nice visit!
Sunday, September 20, 2009
bawl'mer baby
baby jude and Kara made their first trip to Baltimore without Greg. They visited Greg's family while he stayed home to focus on a work project and a few home projects.
Jude had a great time. He got many hours of fun attention from grandma and grandpa miller, plus a mom who was not distracted with all the chores and activities she has on her plate at home.
A few highlights:
-Jude crawling around pushing popping toys his daddy played with as a kid
-Jude playing with his cousins Meredith and Andrea.
-Meredith liked to hold his hands and help him cruise around, while saying "walk jude. walk" and wanting to let his hands go
Greg's parents live in the same house Greg grew up in. Jude's "nursery" is actually Greg's old bedroom from baby to high schooler. Its amazing to see his son now sleep in that very same room and the same crib his dad used.
Jude had a great time. He got many hours of fun attention from grandma and grandpa miller, plus a mom who was not distracted with all the chores and activities she has on her plate at home.
A few highlights:
-Jude crawling around pushing popping toys his daddy played with as a kid
-Jude playing with his cousins Meredith and Andrea.
-Meredith liked to hold his hands and help him cruise around, while saying "walk jude. walk" and wanting to let his hands go
Greg's parents live in the same house Greg grew up in. Jude's "nursery" is actually Greg's old bedroom from baby to high schooler. Its amazing to see his son now sleep in that very same room and the same crib his dad used.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Splish Splash
Jude is in love with water. He has to splash in it, touch it, find it...whether its the ocean, the pool, a fountain at the mall. (he recently screamed and screamed when I wouldn't let him plod right through the landscaping at our outdoor mall to enter the fountains there)
Our friend Byron captured this moment in our backyard last night. Thanks for the pool Grandpa Scott!
Our friend Byron captured this moment in our backyard last night. Thanks for the pool Grandpa Scott!
Friday, September 11, 2009
jude heads south part three
We understand a trip to kiawah is not complete without a visit to the historic angel oak tree.
this massive live oak is believed to be 1500 years old. It is 65 feet tall, which is an awful lot in baby numbers.
We're told the angel oak provides 17,000 square feet of shade. Its clearly a treasured tree. They have installed metal poles, tension wires, and wood supports to help keep the massive branches in place.
both jude and dad look tiny by this tree
this massive live oak is believed to be 1500 years old. It is 65 feet tall, which is an awful lot in baby numbers.
baby in a tree
We're told the angel oak provides 17,000 square feet of shade. Its clearly a treasured tree. They have installed metal poles, tension wires, and wood supports to help keep the massive branches in place.
It was impressive to see, and fun to see how small jude appeared next to it.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
jude heads south part two
Greg and Kara took Jude to Charleston for an overnight visit during our vacation to Kiawah. Charleston is a one hour drive from Kiawah because of the winding island roads.
Our hotel package, booked through the chamber of commerce, included a horse drawn carriage ride to tour the old city. we were nervous how jude would handle an hour of riding in quiet while the tour guide spoke. we armed ourselves with toys, snacks, and a topped off sippy cup.
We were surprised at how lush and how historic the downtown section of Charleston is. We walked past row after row of beautiful gated homes and old churches.
The battery, at the peninsula's southern tip was a great spot to let jude cruise around and take some photos. And it was in the shade, which was crucial in the hot, humid weather.
brave baby meets the horse
Our hotel package, booked through the chamber of commerce, included a horse drawn carriage ride to tour the old city. we were nervous how jude would handle an hour of riding in quiet while the tour guide spoke. we armed ourselves with toys, snacks, and a topped off sippy cup.
baby on tour
We were surprised at how lush and how historic the downtown section of Charleston is. We walked past row after row of beautiful gated homes and old churches.
beautiful charleston
The battery, at the peninsula's southern tip was a great spot to let jude cruise around and take some photos. And it was in the shade, which was crucial in the hot, humid weather.
i'm one hot baby!
jude brought another baby to tears in the park. our guy didn't do anything wrong, he just squealed and tried to put his hands on the little girl. he always get a big grin and moves fast to interact with and meet other babies these days.
i don't want to let go yet!
a weapon more potent than jude's diapers
that cannon could have been used to fire on nearby Fort Sumter. Charleston has plenty of memorials to mark the "war between the states" and the Confederate leaders who fought for their city and region. We enjoyed learning about the history, introducing jude to southern barbeque and spending a day with our little guy.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
taking the next step
mr jude moves closer and closer to walking on his own. he is close to standing up without holding anything. our guy is using his walking car toy (thanks grandma nancy & grandpa henry!) with abandon, reaching new destinations around the living room. his new surprise for mom is his desire to climb stairs. he takes her hand or the railing and hoists his little feet right up there.
all this growin tires me out
we visited a place called My Gym on friday. this big mat-covered exercise facility is a giant play room for kids. kara watched with amazement as jude climbed up 3 padded stairs across the room.
in addition to his physical steps, baby jude is much more alert about the world around him. he tries to touch the faces (i.e. Bears Players) he sees on tv. Walks in his stroller are now active head-twisting rides to take in, and smile at, every view and person we pass.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
jude heads south part one
Beautiful Kiawah
Baby Jude took a vacation with his parents to visit his Great Aunt and Uncle. Aunt Karen & Chuck have a beautiful home on Kiawah Island, South Carolina. They were amazing hosts and offered plenty of fun activities for Jude and his parents. In particular, the beach and the ocean were a big hit! Jude would grab our hands and walk right into the water.
baby on the go
Kara and Greg tried to show jude how to play with the sand, using buckets and shovels. Unfortunately he decided it was better as a snack. The diapers were very interesting for several days after.
i like to stack my buckets
Kara's relatives were gracious enough to babysit jude one evening. Greg & Kara enjoyed having drinks at the Island's luxury resort hotel, The Sanctuary. We were surprised to see so many families on the property. It was especially cute to see all the southern little girls wearing their nice evening dresses while running around the great lawn.
Karen & Chuck had lots of baby gear for us to use--the crib, high chair, baby monitor and toys. They even loaned us a car during the visit. We described the trip to them as like "a luxury vacation we didn't have to pay for." We are so happy they are so well settled and content in their retirement. And so glad we got to see Kiawah!
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